NADIA BOROWSKI SCOTT /
Union-Tribune
"When you have a difficult period, and everyone does, you figure that this, too, shall pass," says Frances Goodkin, with husband Sandy.
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Sandy Goodkin was already engaged to someone else when he met the real love of his life.
"She was wearing blue shorts and had great legs," he recalls.
Sandy and Frances were working at a summer day camp in Los Angeles, and they joke about having 38 children to chaperone their budding romance.
"Camp was just the beginning of us working together," Frances says. When they returned to college, they worked together again in the school bookstore.
"I fell in love with her because of her work ethic," Sandy says. "I wanted to neck with her in the stacks, and she said we had a job to do."
On Friday nights, they went to movies and a Chinese restaurant. Sandy saved some of the fortunes from the cookies, particularly the one that promised: "Your life is sitting next to you."
After a two-year courtship, the couple married in 1950.
She started a career as a bacteriologist, while he started retail management training. Their combined monthly income that first year was $235.
When Sandy set up his own real estate market-research company, she became his partner, in addition to doing her scientific work. The Goodkins, both 75 now and living in Carmel Valley, continue to work together in one of the many incarnations of the business.
Sandy explains the success of their marriage: "After so many years of loving this creature, I suddenly realized what has kept us hot, even after we reached golden age: the continuing courtship.
"Boys are at their best while courting and usually stop after the ceremony. A romantic loves to write love letters and poetry and continues the courtship without even realizing it."
Frances says she's always liked Sandy's romantic side.
"I'm not a romantic; I'm a scientist."
The Goodkins were wed in 1950 after a two-year courtship. "I fell in love with her because of her work ethic," says Sandy Goodkin.
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Even so, she appreciates the gushy e-mails and poems he continues to send her and the four greeting cards he buys for every occasion, including the one he tucks under her pillow.
Sandy explains, "When marriage hits its rhythm, it's almost like playing at house, with little conflict and confrontation. It changes the rhythm of every argument when winning becomes secondary to loving."
Frances says, "It's OK to disagree. You can't expect the other person always to agree with you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you."
She adds, "When you have a difficult period, and everyone does, you figure that this, too, shall pass."
Trust is very important, Sandy adds. "Whatever comes out of her mouth, I believe, and whatever comes out of my mouth, she believes."
The Goodkins, who celebrated their 54th anniversary this past summer, have three children and four grandchildren. Sandy says, "We taught the kids what love can be, with liking each other as a basis for it."
Marsha Kay Seff is a Union-Tribune staff writer and editor of the San Diego Eldercare Directory at www.SanDiegoElderCare.com. If you want to share the story
about how you met your spouse, please e-mail:
marsha.seff@uniontrib.com
. Please include your phone number in the e-mail.
